this is me and my friend witting about when we are older
I am a Year 5 student in the Uru Mānuka Cluster. My teacher is Miss H. This is a place where I will share my learning. Please note that some of it will not be complete, it will be my first drafts. Remember to be positive, thoughtful and helpful when you leave me a comment.
Thursday, June 11, 2020
5 comments:
To support my learning I ask you to comment as follows:
1. Something positive - Begin with a greeting. Talk about something you like about what I have shared.
2. Thoughtful - A comment that will mean something to me to let me know you read/watched or listened to what I had to say. - use any language.
3. Something helpful - Give me some ideas for next time or ask me a question.
Encourage me to make another post.
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Great writing Olly and Briana! And good teamwork!
ReplyDeleteHi Olly and Briana,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your writing. I love that you had chapters in your story, it added interest. I am so thankful that Olly happened to have a parachute on when you were both hiking in the story! It may be a good idea to increase the size of your font (words) if you have room on your slides. It will make it easier to read.
I can't wait to see more work that you post on your blog, Olly.
Mrs McIntyre
Hi Briana and Olly! I like the way you added full stops. It reminds me of a snowy day . Next time i you should add more wow words and some more excitement in your story <3
ReplyDeleteNaomi here sorry i added an i so ignore that sorry.
ReplyDeletehey Olly, Briana here, i loved the way the you fixed the story in the end when you put "the end" at the last slide. this reminds me of the time when a car on a moution and the car fell down at the part when i fell (lol) next time make the writing bigger and brighter? BYE!
ReplyDelete